


You & Me Could Write a Bad Romance

by DianaMoon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Birthday, Challenge Response, Deathly Hallows Fix, Developing Relationship, Drabble Series, First War with Voldemort, Haiku, Haiku Series, Hogwarts Era, Hopeful Ending, Light Bondage, M/M, Marauders' Era, Near Death Experience, POV Alternating, Post - Deathly Hallows, Rimming, Rough Sex, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Underage Sex, Werewolves, Whipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-09
Updated: 2008-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-03 02:07:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/375908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaMoon/pseuds/DianaMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the flames of love are out of control, and all consuming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You & Me Could Write a Bad Romance

**Author's Note:**

> Haikus are Remus' POV and the prose is in Snape's POV. Originally written for LS's Snape's Birthday Challenge, but while it was mostly done back then, never got around to finishing it. Least it's done in time for this year! Heh. As a challenge, I went in order of the prompts listed from the beginning of their relationship and up. Thanks to lore & bookofjude for beta'ing this for me.

Fingers caressing  
Longing to be your vials  
Touch me, Severus

 Severus was speechless. He stared at the potion in his hand, watching the liquid shimmer from green to gold while Remus bloody Lupin tried to explain himself. He only caught parts of it, something about an offer of peace and overhearing from Lily that his birthday was over the hols. Severus looked at him quizzically.

“Thought you’d appreciate a fresh Invigoration Draught to replace the other one...Anyway, Happy Birthday.” Lupin smiled sheepishly.

Severus nodded and pocketed it. He felt oddly warmed by this gesture and decided to not let the Gryffindor know it’s supposed to shimmer to a plum color.

  
You spying on us  
Has intoxicated me  
Your smell, ev’rywhere

  
 Severus was surprised at Lupin’s strength, but found himself too distracted to care as Lupin bent him over the upturned cauldron, shoved his robes aside and pushed his trousers down. He gasped as his cock touched the cold metal, and moaned when Lupin began rimming him. The sensations alone would do him in.

 Before he could bark an order at Lupin to get on with already, he felt himself being magically slicked and widened. It took a few tries before he could take in all of Lupin’s cock. When he did, Lupin let out a satisfied sigh before starting a quick and relentless pace. Severus did not want to come yet, did not want Lupin to ever stop pounding into him, but when the other boy started to growl, he couldn’t help it. With a yelp he came, coating both his stomach and the cauldron’s bottom. Lupin came soon after.

  
Black robes between us  
Roar of the crowds above us  
with you under me

  
 “I still don’t see why you wanted me to accompany you Lupin. Surely you can shop by yourself.”

 “I’m pants when it comes to buying ingredients. Professor Slughorn only wants the freshest and it’s not like the shop in town provides expiration dates,” Lupin pleaded.

 Severus sighed, silently agreeing. He didn’t want to seem like a push over, however. “And what would I get out of this for helping you?”

 Lupin grinned. “A blow wherever and whenever you please for the rest of the week.”

 “That’s reasonable. I’m low on dried beetles, anyway.” Severus already had the week planned out.

  
Thin lips, sallow skin,  
Distinguished nose. Smile  
And I come undone.

  
 This was one of the few times, though he’d never admit it, that Severus wished he was sorted into another House. After taking inventory, he had received two generic potions manuals, one expired bar of some expensive wizard sweet, and seven various lotions and tonics for “stubborn greasy hair”. Malfoy, once again offered lessons to better oneself. There used to be a time Severus could count on Lily’s thoughtful gifts, but not this year.  
  
 Just as he was about to banish the lot, he noticed an unopened envelope. The card inside was tasteful in design, but contained a rather lewd limerick about him and a certain Gryffindor boy. Severus shook his head as he allowed himself a small grin.  It was the only gift he kept that year.  
  
  
What you ask of me  
Wish I could give all of me  
never the other me

  
 If Severus didn’t know better, he would’ve thought Lupin to be a master Occlumens because of the way the other boy could skillfully evade questions. At first it used to irritate him, enough to punish Lupin by refusing to speak to him, but that only led to lonely days and nights, for the Gryffindor would not give in. In time, Severus learned to keep his questions to himself; he learned to be patient, for when the time was right, Remus would open up. After all, that’s what people did in relationships. If he allowed himself to admit that what they had was one, of course.

  
Candlelight only  
Hide you; hide me, from our faults  
Caressing shadows

  
 Sometimes Severus wondered why he ever bothered going down to Hogsmeade. Half the time he’d do it to placate his fellow Slytherins and the other half... Well, to make sure that certain Gryffindors didn’t find him. He didn’t care much for dueling outside of the school grounds, reputation and all that as Malfoy would say.

 Catching a glimpse of wild black hair turning the corner, he ducked into the nearest building, a pastry shop if he remembered right, praying it wasn’t Potter’s destination. As it wasn’t, he sighed and turned around to face the only other customer. Remus Lupin was trying to hide a small cake box behind his back and he smiled nervously. Severus counted the weeks... no, months. He realized that tomorrow it would be one year.

  
A private party  
Severus, a romantic  
and only for me

  
 He almost came from the sight alone. There was his Lupin with his hands bound behind him, arse high up in the air, with a very menacing looking whip whose handle was deep between those tanned cheeks. Lupin had twitched when he entered the room but did not look behind him, leaving himself completely vulnerable. Severus shivered at what this meant. He slowly ran his fingers up each thigh before gripping onto the handle and twisting it roughly. Lupin gasped, and then growled.  
  
 He pulled the handle out, spelled it clean so quickly that Lupin barely had time to recover when Severus began a relentless whipping on alternating cheeks. For a good while the only sounds around them was the crack of leather against skin and heavy breathing from both boys. When he knew that neither he nor Lupin could take anymore, he dropped the whip and pushed his way in. He savored the feeling for only a moment. This time the sounds changed to flesh slapping flesh and moans of intense pleasure. Severus gripped onto the bound arms and pulled Lupin close so he could reach around and tug on Lupin’s cock. Several heartbeats later, they lay on the floor panting, sated. As soon as the bindings slipped off, Severus was surprised when Lupin wrapped his arms around him and whispered three words. It would be the only time in a long time that he would respond in kind.

  
I was a coward  
Should’ve told you that night we...  
Now...Dark...Marks us both...

  
 I stupidly thought, Lupin, that the present  you gave me from back then was a promise to me. That this would last. But no, it was all a game to you. I was merely a passing fancy, with your damned Marauders taking precedence, always. What was the past two years, Lupin? Just a series of thrills until it got too serious? Until you revealed to me what you are on that Full...? No one toys with me, Lupin, not like that. I would’ve given you everything...  
   
 You will live to regret betraying my trust, breaking my h... I’ve made my choice. Keeping your secret will be my final gift to you. But cross me again, doubt me again, choose _him_ again, and none will be able to protect you from my wrath.

  
He took you from me  
Twisted you into someone else  
he will pay for it

  
 After the first attack he participated in, Severus couldn’t sleep. After his first kill, he couldn’t eat. What had started as justified plans of attack turned into violence and debauchery that not even he could fathom. He began to doubt, to wonder what the hell was really going on. It wasn’t what he was led to believe and once again he cursed himself for following into another passion that turned wrong on him.  
  
 After a while he thought he was immune to the atrocities, and it wasn’t until one night when the Order got the better of his team, when one Order member who went down looked so much like a foolish Gryffindor he once loved, that he realized he was lying to himself. It was only until after he got home to throw up that he realized it was a full moon. Never had he been more relieved.

  
Your Slytherin luck  
And my Gryffindor karma  
Caused us to survive

  
 Severus couldn’t remember a time where he didn’t come out of Dumbledore’s office infuriated. This time he was a mix of emotions. A part of him wanted to see the werewolf again, to know that he was still alive and well. But with stress of the Boy being insufferable and knowing that a crazed murderer had escaped, he didn’t know if he could handle another weight on his mind; another distraction.  
  
 His plan was to keep Lupin distant, to keep himself cool and collected. But all that changed when Lupin sat on the other side of the Headmaster. The children filing in were the only reason he didn’t snog the other man right then and there. For the rest of the meal he seethed in self-anger for allowing such a soppy instinct to overtake him.

  
Headmaster, thank you  
Taking chance to make amends  
Hoping he’ll forgive

  
 Severus wondered why in the world he ever wished to be the Head of House when he was younger. He couldn’t change much, not with the way most Slytherins were raised. But then there would be the little things that he could take care of, could protect them from. It was those things that gave him solace in the night when he wandered through the halls, ensuring no outside beasts would come in.  
  
 He never worried about the beast within the walls, confident of his Wolfsbane. No, he knew the only one who needed protection from Lupin was himself.

  
The years have aged us  
But when I look at you, Sev,  
We’re sixteen again

  
 Wrapping paper littered the floor of Lupin’s office, Severus noticed. He knew the other man couldn’t resist such a puzzling present and watched in amusement as Lupin tried to find various ways of taking the wrapping paper off without it revealing another layer. Another few attempts and Lupin finally opened it. Inside laid a properly brewed Invigoration Draught.

 Severus left as soon as Lupin recognized it. Just as he entered his own office, still questioning himself over the gift, the door swung open and Lupin swept in. Before Severus could protest, he was met with a fierce and passionate kiss.

  
Your body adorned  
Ribbons writhing, slithering  
Begging for release

  
 “Too old for this shite...” Severus muttered. It was the morning after Black’s escape from Hogwarts and Severus hadn’t bothered to get out of bed yet. He knew when he did; he’d have to deal with not only the insolence of Potter and the Headmaster coddling him, but with Lupin’s betrayal. He knew what he had vowed to do so long ago if he ever let the wretched werewolf back in, but his heart wasn’t in it. What use would it be for him to spend all his time and energy making Lupin suffer?

 “In fact...” Severus slowly sat up, a Slytherin revelation coming to him. “I don’t have to do anything at all...” He simply needed to free himself of one secret.

 Severus wouldn’t admit it, but a part of him died when Remus left.

  
Ensnare the senses?  
Despite it all, Severus,  
You’ve ensnared my heart

  
 Damn you Lupin. Despite throwing you out so many months ago, that small taste, a reminder of decades before, I still think of you. Every day I worry if you’ve gone back to your old ways before your term at Hogwarts, or if you’ve become the doormat to Black again. Even now, while I imitate pleasantries with Karkaroff, speaking of the “grand old days” of the Dark Lord, I wonder... If you realize that despite the dark creature within you, it will never match the blood on my hands and the deaths caused by my wand. If I could learn to set aside my differences, could you ever learn to forgive me?

  
The snake on your arm,  
Grows darker by the day, yet  
I’ve faith in your light

  
 “How is it you always catch me at my worst, Lupin?”

 “Practice, I suppose. Maybe you’re just not meant to drink alone.”

 “Why are you here?”

 “There’s nothing you could’ve done, Severus. Everyone was caught unawares.”

 “It was, IS, my duty Lupin, to protect them from Him.”

 “You cannot be everywhere at once. Just because you can ‘stopper death’ doesn’t mean you’ll always be able to prevent it happening to a student.”

 “Then what good am I?”

 “If you can’t see that for yourself, then I’ll just have to show you.”

  
The wolf within me  
Craves not the twilight but, you,  
My Capricorn Moon

  
 Severus flies swiftly through the night, the mark on his arm, guiding the way. His mind races with a million different outcomes on how the mission will turn out. He tries thinking rationally, to not let his emotions enter the equation. But with the wind whipping around him and the moon faithfully following him, like a time long ago, he worries, forever worrying really, if Lupin will be there... The pain on his arm deepens. He remembers then, with Black moping around, Lupin wouldn’t dare leave his side and for once, Severus is grateful to that damned loyalty of his.

  
Hate the Order for  
Your loyalty to me-us  
they never believe

  
 Despite the years, Severus had never once questioned the form of his Patronus and had simply endured the ridicule from majority of the people who had seen it (mainly Black). It was a comfort and a reminder of his past, and basked in the fact it had never once wavered, unlike most wizards and witches he came into contact with. So he was quite surprised when it had changed and became a brilliant white wolf that gently nuzzled him before whisking off towards Grimmauld. With the last of his energy he fell to his knees and smiled, content with its new shape, before blacking out.

  
A dungeon protects  
Keeps darkness in and light out  
A dungeon for us

  
 You find me in the staff room, after yet another meeting with the re-appointed Headmaster. Summer is nearly over and I know there’s a part of you that still believes Black is my fault. I’ve no time to coddle you any longer, I revert to my usual curt manner. Of course I don’t expect you to be your usual self, but still, I never believed you’d lock us in here and begin to roughly handle me. I let you, needing, wanting this as much as you do. You whisper filthy things in my ear before nipping it, then you bend me over the table, magically binding me to it. Instinct makes me struggle against the invisible ropes, causing you to growl. You barely take the time to completely remove our clothes and I barely have the time to prepare myself as you enter. I gasp, you groan. With each thrust you point out everything you hate about me, but it’s over before you can say them all. Frustrated, you finish me off. For a brief moment it’s all too much and I snap at you, making you leave. But you and I both know, this won’t be our last encounter.

  
Used to call for her,  
You did, when the nightmares came  
Now you call for me

  
 Severus was five drinks in when Lupin arrived, glamoured as an Asian tourist. He sat across from the dour man, and frowned.

 “When meeting a contact, Severus, wouldn’t it be helpful if you were sober?” Lupin waved away the oncoming waitress.

 Severus laughed into his glass. “The only thing I’ll ever acknowledge from the useless old bastard is giving me the ability to hold my liquor. Problem was he would always go beyond what he could hold.”

 Lupin sighed. “Here’s the information I could gather about the potential werewolf attacks in the next few months. Not all are influenced by Voldemort, I’m afraid.”

 Severus nodded distractedly and hid the papers Lupin handed him in an inside pocket. “Fool’s errand he’s got us on, you realize. Did you really want to get that far away from me, Lupin?”

 He felt the warmth of Lupin’s hand on his before he actually saw it. Severus looked up and saw the conflicted emotions, mirroring almost what he too was feeling, though for entirely different reasons. “No need to respond, better this way really. Good of you to distance yourself.”

 He yanked his hand away and stood up, wondering if he’d get to see Lupin in his real form once more before the inevitable. Letting the alcohol influence his actions, just this once, he stopped Lupin from speaking with a kiss, before Apparating away.

  
Passionate kisses  
now becoming bitter like  
Potions you once brewed

  
 Severus went over the lesson plans again and again. _There’s just not enough time,_ he thought. Not enough time to teach the first-years basic defense, not enough time to teach the seventh-years advanced detection spells (the only ones useful against Death Eaters), simply not enough time. Too much time was already lost in the years previous with fickle teachers. Too much time wasted in staving off Albus’ curse instead of curing it.

 He lost his train of thought however, when he heard the sliding of the secret passageway door into his study. Turning around, he was surprised to see a disheveled and tired werewolf. He approached the other man slowly, hoping he wasn’t just imagining him there. He hadn’t seen Lupin for some months, when Lupin’s contact became Miss Tonks to provide a better cover.

 “I couldn’t stay away, needed to see you.” Lupin pulled him closer, breathing him in. “Want you.”

 Severus leaned forward. “What, none of the other beasts can handle you?” He meant to say it nicer, but he’d gone rusty.

 Lupin genuinely laughed. “You’ve been the only one.”

 Severus smirked. “Good.”

 That night, Severus took the time to memorize every moment.

  
Brilliant night of sex  
Who knew Levicorpus could  
Be used in that way?

  
 Severus stared at the man, no--thing, writhing and screaming in pain before him. The Dark Lord approved of his method of torture, unaware of why Severus agreed to dole out punishment. Severus knew that despite how agonizing his spell was to his victim, it wasn’t enough.

 He had seen what this poor excuse for an animal (let alone human being) had done to Moony during the Full, and it was unconscionable. He was one of the few subordinate Death Eaters “chosen” to be bitten in order to lure other weres to their Lord’s side. This one had found Moony and a game of dominance began where Moony apparently barely eked out a victory.

 Severus was glad to have been given the opportunity to do something about it, when said Death Eater failed the next night rather spectacularly. More and more thin rivulets of blood appeared, with more and more of  Severus’ hatred pouring into each twist and turn of his wand, remembering--never forgetting--how he had to tend to Lupin’s many cuts and bruises.

  ‘No one hurts my Lupin.’

  
Buzzing in my ears  
Secrets you keep still  
not knowing I’m there

  
 After years of brewing, and attempting to better it, Severus could make the Wolfsbane potion in his sleep, but it was still an all-consuming and tiring task. He kept on brewing and storing it, day in and day out. He knew it was only a matter of days before he’d have to show his hand. Days before everything would change, forever. He couldn’t trust anyone else brewing it, not even Granger, though he doubted she would have the time, with Potter needing constant looking after.

 He hoped the stored potions would be enough of a sign for Lupin.

  
What a fool I am  
to have believed what we had  
Was unbreakable

  
 I was a fool to believe long ago that my blood was inferior, that her blood was inferior...That you were inferior. If only I had listened to her, given Albus more credit then. They’d both still be alive and we... We would be whatever we wanted this to be. How sodding sentimental I’ve become, the brink of a new reign of terror by the Dark Lord and I cannot even concentrate on the task at hand.

 See how much you have ingrained yourself into me Lupin? Knowing you’ll never forgive me after it’s all said and done, is torture.

  
Trailing Bellatrix  
Almost blew my cover, why  
Does she wear your scent?

  
 Even when it’s now his, Severus rarely enters or leaves the Headmaster’s Office without being angry or frustrated. Today was no different. Sometimes he wonders even bothering arguing with the portrait, as he’s yet won an argument. Despite hating the boy for a better part of nearly a decade, Severus never wanted him dead.

 “Lupin, I don’t know if I can hold out much longer,” he says to no one as Albus had left his frame to make rounds amongst the other paintings in the school. Talking to the Gryffindor in the past had always helped to keep him grounded. He never saw the reason to stop even if Lupin only appeared in his mind.

 Severus slumps in his chair, sighing. All he wants to do is crawl under the desk and come out again. But he can’t chance it, can’t show any more weakness. “Lupin, give me strength.” In the distance he hears a wolf cry. “Thank you.”

  
Battle of Hogwarts  
the shack pulls to us, but why?  
You aren’t even there

  
 “Shouldn’t have coddled him too much...”

 The portrait gave Severus a quizzical look.

 “Lucius and I...Were too soft on Draco. He was never meant for any of this. Not made of the right stuff.”

 “Ah.” Severus looked away from the portrait as soon as he saw a hint of a twinkle.

 “You were right to have spared him such a taint, he wouldn’t have lasted this long if he had to go through with it.” Severus turned to the mirror nearby. He fingered a rune upon the surface and it shimmered to a classroom not far off. Lupin and his “wife” were showing the first years trapped there one of the secret passages that would lead them safely away from the battle. “Maybe Lucius spent too much of his energy cultivating me, had none left to give to his own son.”

 “My boy, if I had known...”

 “If you had known what?” Severus erased the rune and the mirror returned to normal, reflecting his emotions. “Would you have chosen another to do what I have done? Am I really that replaceable?” Any other night and there might have been anger in his voice, instead there was only defeat.

 “What nonsense, Severus. No one could have done what you have, and I’m dearly indebted to you. I meant that--”

 There was a blast nearby that worried both men. Severus grabbed a few phials and tucked them inside his sleeve. He patted where his wand was and took off.

 “I pray you both survive to forgive each other.”

  
He may be Lily’s  
But oddly I see a lot  
Of you within him

  
 Severus hadn’t felt this livid since he caught Potter looking through the Pensieve. But as the two students scurried off to safety, he couldn’t help but sneer at their foolishness. He slapped the wall, still not quite believing what he just witnessed. With his training and experience through the years, he had heard their whispered confessions of love, for “just in case one of us doesn’t make it” and then gone off on them, reminding them of the battle going on naught but a few meters away. Honestly, who would do such a thing?

 A vision of him and Lupin passed through his mind, and he shook his head, realizing he was the bigger fool. Certainly, if he had the chance, he would ambush the other man and do the same. The pain on his arm flared, and he was brought back to reality.

  
Heaven and hell both  
Took what we had away  
they will give it back

  
 Severus didn’t realize how good his act had been until Minerva attacked him. He never wanted to be on the opposite end of a furious Minerva McGonagall, but with barely any time left, he couldn’t make her see otherwise. He also never realized how much it hurt to be battling with one of the few people he ever called friend. When he was a student, he did hate how she protected her Gryffindors but at the same time wished there was a Slytherin teacher he could have counted on as well.

 “I don’t have time for this!” He needed to find Lupin or the boy. Needed to make sure they both were still alive, though for Potter it would be just to be alive long enough. That distraction caused him to get partially stunned. Like her Animagus form, Minerva took the time to play a bit with her prey. Most of it washed over him as he scanned the audience that was growing. His arm flared and he cursed to himself on the Dark Lord’s timing.

 “Don’t see what Remus could have ever seen in you,” Minerva spat as she readied a final blow.

 Severus flinched at that before he turned and threw himself through the window.

  
Memories fading  
Like a broken pensieve...I  
remember your love

  
 Only once before did Severus have an out of body experience, but this time it felt different. He was strangely calm as he flew away from the shack and towards the school. Bodies littered the way, mostly the elder Death Eaters, for which was glad, and some fallen students for which he was not. It seemed like some time had passed since he had his last conscious thought (of Lupin), for there was Potter, alive still, as he confronted the Dark Lord. He had never felt more proud of Potter’s ilk, until that moment when Longbottom destroyed Nagini with the Sword, and Potter destroyed Voldemort with his life. As he returned to his aching body, he saw in horror, where Lupin’s body lay.

~~~

  
 I’m sorry I was such a coward, Remus. I couldn’t let anyone in, couldn’t let anyone destroy me like my father did my mother. I hid behind my anger and self-loathing, and took whatever chance to disbelieve you just to keep a safe distance. I don’t know if I’d call what we had _love_ , for creatures as dark as us... But I swear, Remus, if you wake up from this sleep your werewolf nature put you in--if your wolf lets you wake up, I’ll... I will spend the rest of our lives making up for it. Please damnit, I cannot live without you anymore.

  
Single press of lips  
Breaks the spell... Here you are, love  
  
Sev’rus, my sweet prince

 


End file.
